Saturday, January 7, 2012

New Projects

I have some new projects going on. Well not so much new, some are new and some are old but are given new life.

First the old; Silly Boyz Podcast. www.sillyboyz.com  . It will happen more frequently and promises to entertain you and make you giggle like you were kissing your first lumberjack. Sam will be in most the podcasts but this will also give us an opportunity to introduce you to some great comedians that tour the country.

Also, this one I am really excited for (like kissing a lumberjack), is the new sketch group I am in; Cupcake Riot. If you have seen any of my 400 posts about the videos, go here watch some videos and then subscribe to said videos. Cupcake Riot  . We are going to flood the airwaves with some great comedy.

On another more sad note, LA lost a great comedian this week. Angelo Bowers was a comedian's comedian. His jokes were just as good on paper as they were on stage. He performed not for fame nor for any other reason than the fact that he got to tell jokes in front of people who wanted to hear jokes. On top of that, he loved people. We knew each other as fellow comedians yet he remembered my name and greeted me with a hug. He will be missed.

Please donate if you feel moved -

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Cupcake Riot!

Hey Guys!

I have a new sketch comedy group called Cupcake Riot! It stars comedians Samuel J. Comroe, Drew Lynch, and myself; along with film maker Cedric Harris.

Go to our YouTube page and subscribe!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TnGd8im8FU&feature=colike

Go there so you won't have to read every annoying posts about how I made ambiguously gay videos with Cupcake Riot and deny any gay relations... I'm not gay.

-Dustin

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Time

There are a couple of things that scare me now-a-days. Here is a quick list of things that make me poop myself on site:

-Spiders
-Death
-Bullets
-unfrozen Popsicles
-heights
-certain kind of dogs
-Mordor
-organized government
-fire
-A Random Mel Gibson Attack
-Youth

Yes, Youth. There is nothing scarier than youth; they creep up behind you and once you notice they are there then it is too late. Kind of like walking through life, turning the corner just to see the Twilight Zone guy, and knowing some crazy shit is going to go down.

Why does today's youth scare me? Because they are just so stupid and when they come into power things are going to be worse, Mad Max worse but with cooler mohawks. Sure our parent's generation has done some idiotic things: Watergate, Wars, Spandex; and sure our generation has continued that trend of moronic acts: More Wars, The financial collapse, the Kardashians; but this new generation is going to reach a whole new level of doofis-ness (yes, I just created a word on how dumb they are).

First, they don't read. To their argument, why read? Why read when you have endless amounts of channels on Television, when I can see a race between two blind dwarfs and an obese conjoined twins?? Why read and know about the great art the has inspired and moved generations past depressions and into ideological eras? When this generation does read its books by Chelsea Handler and Snookie (are you fucking kidding me? Snookie? people are willing to read a book by a fat herpes filled twinkie than someone like Mark Twain or Jane Austin). Wow, what a generation they are going to be when their greatest author got crabs while being drunk in a hot tub.

Second, Tattoos. Now let there one thing be clear, I have nothing against tattoos. They are a great way to express ones motivation or to have a memorial for a loved one. They are great in moderation. Key word is moderation. I love Lord of the Rings but in Moderation because if I loved them without moderation then I would be a virgin who eats Cheetos all day long instead of a guy who got lucky once and eats Cheetos all day long. Now if you have more tattoos than shirt covering your body there is something wrong here. How do you expect anyone to take you seriously, heck even your kids to listen to you. "Where did you learn that kind of behavior?" "I don't know dad, from that half naked chick holding a sword riding a tiger". See my point? Want to be different? Don't get a tattoo, everyone has them now-a-days

Third, narcissism. My generation is the best, plain and simple. USA!USA!USA! - there is never a wrong time to start a USA! Chant.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

New Applebees Dinner Items!




Here are a few new items waiting for you next time you enter your neighborhood's Applebees!

The Double Triple Burger

This delicious meat-safari will send your tongue big game hunting! We don't only give you three juicy meat patties, we double that! Have you ever heard of a meat comma? Don't worry you will once you wake up from one after finishing this endangered species!




Darryl Strawberry's Chili Fries

We start with a bed of golden 'cooked to perfection french fries' then add grandma's home cooked chili, top it with FOUR different types of cheeses, and finish it with a dash of hobo spices. Why do we call it Steve Job's Chili Fries? After finishing a plate, you are sure to have colon cancer.



The Good For You Salad

We here at Applebees are committed to stop childhood obesity and we think this salad is step in the right direction. What screams healthier than free range, corn fed, all white meat chicken; DEEP FRIED. We put that on a bed of napkins with your choice of dressings; Buttermilk Ranch, Double Molasses BBQ, or Quadruple Honey Mustard.




Starlet Fajita

USDA Marinate steak with bell peppers and onions served on a sizzling hot griddle. (CAUTION: The fajita griddle is extremely hot. One touch could cause 1st degree burns and an extensive trip to the hospital where your family will forget who you are due to your addiction to pain killers.




Eye Opener Margarita

Tequila, Spiced Rum, Apple Juice, Margarita Mix, and dark memories of summer camp that have kept you awake for countless nights; blended and served in your very own take-home Applebees' glass!


Monday, October 3, 2011

Funny Videos

Here are a collection of videos I find hfunny and I hope you find them funny too. You may have seen them before, if you have then you are a no good communist.

1)Bat Fight - Classic video, well made. This song will be stuck in your head for some time.


2)Handsome Men Club - This aired 2 years ago and it still makes me laugh. Whoever thought about having Tony Romo in the Handsome Men Club is retardedly wrong.



3)Terrible substitutions - Anyone that knows me knows I am a sucker for those Corona commercials, oh GOD do I wish I was on the beach doing nothing with my life getting drunk with no friends around me. Also obvious goofs. Mad respect to the film crew who think they can pull this off. Keep your eye on #89

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Classification of Bros

Many a day I have spent studying this creature; lurking in the shirt rack at a Hollister writing down every douchey thing I see, immersing myself in the club culture only to find out it was a Persian Restaurant. Here are the types I have found, documented, tagged, and sent back on their wild red bull loving ways.

The Desert Bro



The desert bro can be found anywhere dirt bikes, raised trucks, and blaring Nickelback meet. He is easy to spot with his Monster energy drink gear, cargo shorts, black socks, and sandals. The farther in the desert you travel the more facial hair/piercings this species seems to receive. If you listen quietly you can hear this magical beast's mating call of "Sweet". His diet consists of Coors Light, Monster Energy Drinks, and getting sick air. If you ever find yourself being attacked by one of these desert dwellers, grab the nearest magazine and swipe at the nose of the most dominate male.

Frat Bro



A more younger species than its brother in the desert, this Bro can be found anywhere three greek letters are put together in front of a beat down house. This bro's numbers multiply every August and can be identified with his popped Abercrombie and Fitch collar, sandals, "LiveStrong" yellow wrist band, and backwards baseball cap to a team whose city he can't locate on a map. Strictly traveling in herds, he can 'never leave a bro for a b*&#h". A remarkable creature who can survive strictly on his parents feeding his BofA account. If ever confronted by one of these Bros, simply ask an academic question; it paralyzes them.


The Justin Timberlake Bro




Named after the Actor/Singer/Florida native because of the almost doppelganger look this creature tries to pull off (but ultimately fails. A nocturnal bro, it is rare to see this species out in day light. He can be found anywhere where Justin Timberlake songs, Grey Goose, cameras, and scantily clad woman are, normally clubs or karaoke bars. Though it is the hardest bro to track down he is quite easy to identify. Simply look for a fedora; if it is a female then she is out of touch with fashion, if it is a male then you have found yourself a Justin Timberlake Bro. His mating call is a simple "My Roommate's Not Home". A Justin Timberlake bro can survive strictly on his own ego. If you are ever attacked by this Bro just make an observation that his vest doesn't match his shoes. He will quickly back down.


The Italian Bro/Guido



Currently in the limelight for its douchbaggary qualities, this bro is often mistaken for the gym rat bro. Currently this is a great documentary about his species of bro titled "Jersey Shore". I recommend watching only the highlights of this documentary only because if you watch the whole show there is a good chance for mental retardation. If you ever confront one of these bros in real life you are pretty screwed; not a whole lot you can do to stun this creature, God blessed it with a thick head and greasy hair.

That is all for now. Next time we will look at the Chris Angel Bro, Gym Rat Bro, and the once extinct Persian Bro.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Funny Pictures

I'd thought I would share some pictures that I have seen that I think are hilarious. Followed by my analysis on why these pictures are hilarious.



Outside of the obvious joke, what makes this funny is 2 different things; 1) The tone of the message is serious. (2) It is written on a chalk board.



For those of you who might miss this joke, Galactus is a Marvel villain who destroys planets. He is God like in Human/beast like form. For him to be on the couch, in a robe, most likely watch Maury is hilarious. Also he does need to get a job, free loaders piss me off.



This is semi funny (it is an add after all) but I despise bros. My next blog will explain the different types of bros. I have been studying them like a scientist studies monkeys... Yup I made up my mind, I will discuss Bros in depth.